Helping your dog through the fear of fireworks.

As I write this blog, it's the 26th October and in Scotland this means it's "fireworks season" . I use the word season because it really is a season and not just a day. There are many reasons that we humans like to set off fireworks but for the purposes of this blog the reasons behind it are not relevant. I want to focus on how  you can help your terrified dog. 

That said a colleague of mine wrote recently about the fact we managed to "switch from plastic straws to paper straws to save the turtles" in a relevantly short space of time. Maybe it's really not that inconceivable that we could switch from fireworks to light shows..... If anyone works in government policy or has some information or ideas on how to make that happen. Drop me a message I would love to get behind that particular mission. 

Anyway, I digress, today I want to offer you an alternative solution to helping your terrified dog. 

What if you could hold space for and allow your dog's fear to rise up, be acknowledged and  pass through them. The fear and the experience that goes along with it will cause your dog no actual harm. 

Now I know this sounds a little bit "woo woo" but bear with me. Let me explain this in a more practical way. 

Step 1 - Create an environment where you know your dog is going to be safe. I trust you know what that looks like for your dog, here are some examples; 

- Don't allow them off their lead even if you are just taking them out for a last pee.

- Keep walks to an absolute minimum to reduce the chances of them being close to a firework when it is let off.

- At home keep your doors and windows closed, close the curtains, get the heating on and snuggle down. Do whatever, feels good for you. Get the candles out, run a bath, listen to some music, watch a movie, read a book, play a game. You get the idea, this is about you. No matter what you do, your dog will still be able to hear, feel, and smell a firework, but this is still an important part of this process. 

- Allow your dog to be wherever they want to be, where is their safe place, is it on their bed? in their crate? under the table? Are they shaking and pacing? do they like to chew something? Just allow them to be. All responses are going to be allowed and we don't need to change them.

- Now for the super important bit, allow yourself to just be. Don't buy into your dog's energetic fear state. Yes they are scared, yes they are worried, yes they are feeling all the feels, but YOU know there is nothing to actually fear. Fireworks are annoying and loud but they cannot actually hurt your dog. Ok agreed it's not impossible that one might fly through your window and hit them on the head, but it is highly highly unlikely. 

This is where you become the solution to your dog's fear; 

Underneath all the noise in your head and outside your window, deep inside you, there is a space where you know your dog is safe. But for the shaking, panting and terror they are experiencing they are still ok. I know it's not nice to watch but they are only experiencing feelings in the same way they experience joy, excitement, hunger, I need to pee. This fear will not actually harm them.

Safe in this knowledge, can you allow all of their feelings without trying to change it? 

If you can, your dog will start to not just feel fear they will feel heard, they will feel loved, they will feel safe and reassured that although they feel scared, they are shaking and panting, nothing bad is going to actually happen. With a little time these feelings like all the other feelings will pass and next time they feel the fear, they will know when the fear comes, it's allowed and it will pass much quicker, until there will come a day when the fireworks happen and the fear rises up and passes so quickly it's barely noticeable. 

Let's get practical again what does "without trying to change it" actually look like in the real world.

- Don't make a fuss of your dog

- Don't even make eye contact or chat to them in their moment of fear

- Don't try to distract them by feeding them or giving them a treat or a ball, they likely won't be interested anyway

This fireworks season allow your dog the gift of experiencing what is, without you trying to change it, make it go away and essentially denying their feelings and emotions.

If this all sounds a bit "out there" maybe this perspective will help you to understand what I mean. 

Humans and dogs are not so different in this sense. 

Imagine you are feeling really scared in fact terrified. What scares you? Is it spiders, is it heights? Is it flying? Is it small spaces? Scary films? I am sure there is something!

Take yourself there for a moment and really feel it.... Now imagine that I come along and I am not scared of your thing so I start to say things like "oh don't worry, it's all fine" "do you want a cup of tea, maybe a biscuit, that will help" or "it's ok come out from under the bed, come sit here with me". Are you feeling good right now? or are you frustrated, angry even that I just don't get it. You are still feeling really scared and I have now added in frustration and anger! 

Alternatively, I come along and say nothing very much. I just sit down with you and allow all your feelings of fear, let you cry, let you feel scared, knowing it's all ok . It's  just a feeling anyway and will not actually harm you. I am not scared of your thing so I can hold that space without buying in to your fearful energy and spiralling with you. I give you time and space and sure enough, like they always do, the feelings of fear pass through you. We are still on the plane or in the small space, but you can sense my "not fear". You now feel heard and loved and maybe, just maybe there is space for you to come to your own conclusion that you don't like this situation but it's not quite as scary as you first thought. You can breathe again, you can look around, maybe all is ok. 

If you decide to try this little technique I refer to as "without trying to change it"  this fireworks season, I would love to know how it goes, what happens, take time to observe your dog and if you get a minute, drop me an e-mail to [email protected] 

If you like this blog and are not already only my e-mail list to received regular information, tips and trick to live their best life you can sign up here. 

Finally you don't need to do this alone,  if anything resonates with you and you want my help and support to help you help your dog. check out Peaceful Paws here and book a call with me to find out if it really would be a good fit for you and your dog. 

Peaceful paws always,

Julie x