You get the dog you need, not the dog you want?

"You get the dog you need, not the dog you want"

I was reminded of this saying recently and it got me to thinking is this true or false? 

For me personally, this is most certainly true and when I think of all  the clients I have worked with over the last 15 years, oh my gosh yes it's true.

What about you and your dog?

Literally 99% of issues that people have with their dogs are due to the dog not living up to the "idea" of what having a dog should be like.

Before you get your dog you have an idea in your head of what they are going to look like, how big they are going to be, where they are going to sleep, where you are going to walk them, how they are going to behave in various situations, maybe you want to walk with a friend and their dog, the list goes on and on.  This is perfectly natural and normal we all have a lot of ideas and expectations for this dog we may never have even met. 

It's helpful to acknowledge this, so that you can get eyes for the fact that your dog is most definitely not broken, it's the idea that you have of your dog that is very likely broken. 

This is fabulous news because it means you can now let go of the ideas, not your dog. You can stop getting more and more frustrated with your dog's behaviour and start getting to know and understand the dog you actually have with all their wonderful idiosyncrasies!

Image how much easier life  would be if the aim of the game was not to fit your dog into some pre-conceived idea of what dog ownership should look like.

Imagine you could accept and work with the behaviours of the dog you have.  

I know you already love and adore your dog or you very likely would not be taking the time to read this blog!

Now just to be clear, by accepting the current situation and your dog as they are right now, does not  mean you need to stop listening and learning for ways to create a world where your dog can live their most relaxed, stress free life. Of course not.  However, when we let go of all those pre-conceived ideas and approach our dog's behaviour from a place of acceptance of what is actually true right now, a whole new world of opportunities will open up.

When I started as a professional  dog walker, my dog Pepsi was suffering from Separation Anxiety. At the time I had no idea how to prevent her suffering.  I thought as a dog walker the problem will be solved as she can come with me every day and I never have to leave her! Remember you get the dog you need, not the dog you want..... What I didn't know at the time was that the underlying cause of this separation anxiety was that I had innocently allowed her to think she had to look after me and her anxiety was coming from the fact that she could no longer look after me if I left her at home. 

This need to protect me was not addressed by me becoming a dog walker so it just manifested itself in different ways. In this case she decided that some (not all, she did like some dogs!) other dogs should not be allowed near me as they might harm me and she took it upon herself to bark at them and chase them away in a sometimes quite aggressive manner. Eeeek this was not an ideal situation as a dog walker. 

The good news tho is that she and this behaviour quite literally brought me to Dog Listening. I took 2 courses way back in 2006 with Jan Fennell and Tony Knight and started the career I absolutely love as a Dog behaviour coach. 

If you feel so inclined take some time and reflect on these 2 questions: 

• Do you think you have the dog you want or the dog you need?
• What has your dog taught you already? 

if this resonates with you, you can sign up for my newsletter here and like my Facebook page here for more ways to create a world for your dog to enjoy a relaxed stress, free life. 

Peaceful paws always, 

Julie x